Struggles

 When I was in hair school, I had a teacher tell me about her struggles in life. It hit a lot of us hard. We were crying and hugging and really realizing that our lives were not that bad. Sometimes, I start to think about what God's plan is for me. And really, I don't want to know. I like to take day by day by day. I watched something in May, shortly after I had Hudson. It was about Zach Sobiech and his life with osteosarcoma. I cried. And when I say I cried, I didn't have a couple drops of tears fall down my face. I was hysterical. I felt like I knew this boy my whole life. He was an amazing person. He wrote a song called "Clouds" and I would encourage everyone to watch his story and listen to the song after. I will post his story here . He changed my life. He changed my way of viewing my friends and family. The way I treat them and myself. He was incredible. He really helped give me hope and helped grow my faith. Please, take a second (actually 20 minutes), to watch his story. He may change your life as well.

  With that being said, I sometimes wonder God's way of helping us. There are those days where I pray. I pray so hard I have tears rolling down my chapped cheeks. Asking him to be there for me. Asking him to help me through the struggles I am dealing with in that point of my life. When all of a sudden, it back fires. Everything I had just prayed for didn't happen. Like I was expecting miracles and needed him so bad at that very moment. I start to question myself. Why wasn't he there? Why didn't he answer me prayers? I prayed so hard and needed him so bad but he wasn't there. That's when I realize God didn't intend for me to make it out easy. We are not a family who wants the easy way out. We struggle. We fight hard. That is the kind of family we are. We love until the end and help in any way that was handed to us. That's how he answers my prayers. He helps me figure out a solution. Not just a quick answer to get me out of a bind. And I truly believe in miracles. I have two of them I get to watch run around and play every day. Every night, I hold my boys while they fall asleep. I watch them as they lay in my arms. I watch them breathe, I feel their heartbeat and sometimes cry when they feel for my hand to hold. I pray to God and thank him for the wonderful gifts he has given to me. I don't pray and ask him for money. I don't pray and ask him for a chance to win the power ball. I pray to him to continue to give my family good health and to love each other with all we have. So, when you start to give up on him, maybe start to really think what his plan is. And then thank him for making you just a little bit stronger. God will grant all those who serve him in miraculous ways. It will happen, one day.

   So on a different note, Santa is coming TO TOWN! Tomorrow. And I am so excited!! Carson is stoked to see this Jolly Man!!! So I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend!! Until tomorrow...